What's the Point?

I started this blog to chronicle a new stage in my relationship with YHSHW Emmanuel the Messiah (for those who do not know the Hebrew names--Jesus/Joshua the Christ, who was "God with us"); namely, He has called me to become a messenger and servant to the middle east. This new adventure begins with the end of another which lasted about a year and a half, and can only be well understood with a knowledge of the main events and motivations that accompanied it, so if what I'm about to share seems long, stick with it, for you will be well rewarded.

In late August of 2006, I had been reading the first 7 books of the bible, and had come across a little-understood passage regarding a personal vow. This passage makes up what is now known as numbers chapter 6: The Vow of the Nazirite. In Hebrew, nazirite is related to the word for separated, and referred to a Hebrew sect that began before the time of Moses. Thus, those who took this vow were dedicating themselves to be separated according to God's commands, and for his purposes. Just as honesty and giving are not passe (sic) in God's new covenant, so neither are vows (including marriage!); however, vows are very serious matters, as God expects the person making the vow to live up to its conditions (so if you vow to stay married "till death do us part" then you had better do so, or have a very God-fearing excuse!).

Anyway, the nazirite vow was dictated to Moses, and came with its own conditions, which included (in brief summary): not shaving hair or beard, not drinking wine or any other strong drink, various laws on cleanliness (such as not coming in contact with dead bodies), and sacrifices to be made, either in the case of error (relatively cheap) or the case of fulfillment (expensive throughout the era which the bible was written). I later also discovered that, according to tradition, the person making the vow set a length of time for the vow, usually no less than 30 days--I imagine partly to do with the large cost.

The famous biblical figures Samson and Samuel each were nazirites from birth, and each was granted a measure of power from YHWH and His Holy Spirit. Samson had great strength by which to carry out YHWH's mission to free His people, and Samuel had great wisdom and leadership by which to turn around the corrupt (and therefore dying) dynasty of the priesthood, and the whole nation of Israel under Eli and his sons.

As my main interest in beginning my reading in the first place was to come to know YHWH better and dedicate my life to Him. So, this kind of vow/activity seemed very appropriate to me. I decided to take this adventure, knowing full well (and trusting with much gratitude) that YHSHW was the fulfiller of the Law of Moses, and has set me free from bearing the burden of it. Some have jeered it as wierd, some have been awed by my zeal, others have called it unchristian or unscriptural, but no one has yet challenged me on grounds of a single verse which clearly applies--save for that it is a curse to take the Law upon oneself, a charge which I answered above--much less two, three, or more verses in concert and which reveal God's character and views regarding this general kind of behavior.

Once I understood the self-set timeline tradition, I decided to schedule it around an activity I had been interested in for some time: Peace Corps service. I decided to end my vow either when Peace Corps said to shave for service (which in retrospect would only have been a token gesture, as my dedication to YHWH comes first, and unless a country has laws against all beards, even religious ones, I would not be obligated to do remove it), or when my service with Peace Corps was done.

Once I had filled out my application for Peace Corps, the Regional Recruiter interviewed me and gave me a favorable nomination. However, Headquarters was much more reserved, even standoff-ish. My placement officer, from some very vague statements in my application and nomination, before having even spoken with me even once, formulated the opinion that because my faith seemed strong I would be too vocal about issues of religion and therefore a risk to myself, the reputation of Peace Corps, and perhaps any community in which I served (such a blanket attitude is prejudiced subjugation of religious belief and expression to secular and often relativistic philosophy, and this "don't step on any toes" fear-based policy is, sadly, far too common in circles of administration, governance, and popular philosophy--it allows no room for faith or the good works that can com from it). So, from my understanding, to catch me in a trap, my placement officer had me re-write my application essays, but would not tell me that suspicion regarding religion was the motivation, only that my originals did not appropriately answer the question (as though the regional recruiter was incompetent for passing me) or that I should "explain in full" my reasons for joining the Peace Corps (as though I was lying or hiding something). During the interview I had with her, she did not bother to ask me about anything besides religion; When she inquired what I would do if I was asked to participate in festivals with religious components different that my own, to which I stated that I could participate in any activity, so long as it did not force me to deny my God or disobey Him, and she responded that "that might not be good enough for some people," I knew that I could not pass her tests and still follow after YHSHW (Jesus). From there on out, all I could do was appeal that my faith would not cause harm to anyone and pray that either she would soften up or I would find a friendly ear somewhere higher up. I soon realized however, that the bureaucracy was more interested in self-preservation than in providing a fair and objective assessment to someone whose life's goal was to emulate history's most loving (and yet controversial) man. My appeals regarding this treatment basically fell on deaf ears; I had been thrown into a battle of persection for believing in and failing to deny God before men. Thus, it appeared I would be ending my Peace Corps service (and therefore my vow) much sooner than expected.

As a final appeal, I filed a formal discrimination complaint with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC), in case I could find favor with someone outside the Peace Corps heirarchy. During this process, I knew I still needed to move on to some other activity, and yet I still felt YHWH's (God's) call to service overseas. So, I applied for Engineering Ministries International (EMI), whom I had heard about from one of the bible study leaders who first reconnected me with the scriptures, and by proxy, YHSHW (Jesus). After a one-hour interview and two weeks of praying, both Danna (the intern coordinator) and I agreed that I should join them for the Spring semester (mid-January to June).

Between Thanksgiving and Christmas, I worked for two and a half weeks with Habitat for Humanity in Mississippi (I still have a heart for domestic service, too). When I returned home to California, Danna informed me that I had the option of working both in Nicaragua on a school and Mexico on an orphanage, or exclusively with the Middle East group on a full youth/community/vocational center, and that I should pray about which to be part of. When I called back later that week, I told Danna that I should go both where there was most need and where I would be of best service and best mentored. She said that, in all cases, this was the Middle East project. I had never seen myself as one called to minister in the Middle East, but it was clear that this was the most appropriate fit.

EMI began orientation in Colorado Springs on January 13. During this week, I, along with the other interns this semester, underwent an intensive training on team-building, cross-cultural customs and communication styles, people groups, history of missions, and prayer. Though there were no ceremonies to commemorate the completion of this week (save for a very powerful prayer session on the last night at our retreat, in which many had prayer and words directly for the spirit and ministry of others in the group), I had already decided that the time to finish my vow and shave my dedicated hair was when I finished the last affidavit/rebuttal regarding my Peace Corps discrimination complaint with the EEOC. Coincidentally (or, more likely, YHWH's perfect timing), the deadline for this document corresponded with the first day of work in the EMI office (January 21). Thus, I seamlessly transitioned from nazirite timed around Peace Corps, to intern/disciple timed around a semester at EMI.

Through much reflection, study, and the wise words of my Sunday school teacher back home, I realized that though it had been my intention to draw close to God and serve Him how I best knew how, in actuality, I was falling into the mistakes of Abraham and Jonah: thinking I needed to (or even could) help God out with His promises to "give you the desires of your heart" and running away from my true commission (I had earlier rejected a strong urging to go to the Urbana youth missions conference in 2006, where I would have met up with EMI and possibly have become an intern much sooner). Nevertheless, YHWH is faithful, and throughout the past three weeks at EMI, he has confirmed to me that He has brought me back to where I belong.


So, that is the story of how I began and ceased to be a physical nazirite, and am now commissioned to be a "Middle East Messenger" and servant.